We all feel lost or get stuck from time to time
It is very natural to get a little separated from who you think you are, and what you think you want, from time to time. At one end of the scale you have a mid-life crisis and at the other end periods of procrastination and stagnation – in between, there are the differing phases of your life
- 20’s finding love and deciding on a career
- 30’s bringing up families and earning money
- 40’s just seemingly doing the same old stuff
- 50’s realising there must be more to life than this
- 60’s wishing you’d done more in your 40’s
- 70’s finally becoming who you are
- 80’s wishing who you actually are’s body would work
Of course, I am being very cynical here…. The point is, often we feel stuck and don’t know which way to turn.
Who we are is a moving target
Few people seem to know who they really are, even the medical world and philosophers ponder this question! Are we the body? Are we the mind? Are we the ego? Are we what ever we want to be? And even when we get a handle on who we are – we need to add context, what type of a mother, son, wife, daughter, employee, employer…. am I?
We have always thought that the old adage “treat others the way you’d like to be treated” was quite wrong, in fact, we should “treat others the way THEY would like to be treated!“
So, if you treated people the way they would like to be treated you would probably have less drama in your communications and more of a chance to influence them. It stands to reason then, that you may also benefit from treating yourself the way that you would like to be treated – this is why it is so important to know who you are!
Nature versus nurture
There is no nature versus nurture, we don’t believe it works that way. We can clearly see that it is nurture (who we think we are) trying to control the real part of us which is nature (our feelings and desires.)
When these two aspects of our being are in conflict (consciously or unconsciously) we tend to have emotional drama in our lives and this manifests as anxiety, stress, boredom, apathy, depression and addictive behaviours. We then focus on trying to overcome these dramas, not realising that they are actually the symptoms, not the real underlying problem!
When we are ready for real change in our lives, real personal growth, it is imperative that we step outside of the immediate issues and look at ourselves from a detached and holistic point of view.
The logical part of our mind (consciousness and ego) uses language, logic and reason to look at life, whilst, the more animal part of us (which is unconscious and is actually more in control than we might imagine) uses emotions, feeling and desire to guide us.
I don’t know what I want from life!
Over the years we have asked thousands of people “What do you want from life?” And 99% of them replied “To just be happy!” followed by “to be healthy“, “to have love in my life” and other emotional statements like these.
Well, what is ‘happy?‘
Is it logical? Is it rational? Does it use language? – No, it doesn’t.
Happiness comes from passion, desire, achievement, connection, creativity, loving and letting go (rather than clinging on). And if you want to connect with these emotions you will need to stop thinking, stop worrying, stop trying to control everything and stop being logical all the time.
You will need to know who you are, you’ll need to know what self-beliefs are holding you back, you’ll need to know how to silence your mind and you’ll need to have more direction and understanding of what you want from life.
Feeling lost – guidance and direction
The Calmness in Mind Program teaches you how to take back control of your emotions, whist exploring who you are and helping you to reconnect with yourself (and life) in ways that allow you to free yourself from yourself.
Is now the right time to explore a new you? To lose the emotion of feeling lost or stuck? Surely it’s worth trying, isn’t it?